An Introverted Actress

Day Six: Support

There are an abundance of people on this planet waiting to help you. Seriously. Family, friends, lovers, even strangers who dedicate their lives to sitting at the end of a telephone waiting for people to call and say three seemingly small words that are actually much bigger than they look: I Need Help. Hundreds of thousands of people are sprawled across the planet like angels ready to be there for you at the drop of a hat and yet...the majority of us bite our tongues.

I don't like being a nuisance or a burden. 

No one really cares though. 

No one will understand. 

My problems are small and stupid. 

I am alone.

So, we sweep it all under the carpet. We bottle it up. We hold it all in until we're fit to break and sadly, so many of us do. Asking for help is hard. We feel weak and vulnerable when we admit to someone that we're incapable of handling aspects of life on our own. We feel small and stupid and it's a horrible position to find yourself in, I know, I get it. However, it's so necessary that we speak out. It's imperative that we tell someone how we're feeling when things have become hard and it's absolutely vital that we seek help when it's needed. 

Here are a couple of ways to make reaching out a little easier and a couple of thoughts to keep in mind. 

1. Ask In The Dark. 
This is an age old trick of mine. Usually the person I tell everything to is the person I'm closest to and that's usually whoever my boyfriend happens to be at the time. (As you can guess from that sentence, I've had a few boyfriends over the years but I'll save those disaster stories for another blog...!) I don't like talking about difficult things when someone can see my face and I can see theirs. I don't want someone to be staring me down as I try to hold back tears and I don't want to see someone else get emotional at what I have to say. Especially if it's someone I care about. So, I wait until we're lying in bed and all the lights are off. I reach for their hand, or I cuddle into them and slowly broach the subject. I remember about a year and a half ago when I was at a really low point, lying in the dark on my back with tears rolling down my cheeks and pooling in my ears as I said "I just don't feel happy anymore". It was difficult but the cover of darkness made the conversation so much easier to attempt. Not that there would have been anyway, I felt less judgement when I couldn't be seen and I felt like my whispered words were more easily heard and they made more impact in the dead of night.


2. Reverse The Situation
If you found out someone in your family or a close friend had been struggling for a long time, how would you feel upon hearing that news? If you're anything like me, you'd be gutted you didn't know sooner. That you couldn't help sooner. It's so easy to feel like you'll be a burden if you ask for help but the reality is, that's what your family and friends are there for. I know if my mum found out I'd been struggling and hadn't said anything she'd be devastated I hadn't gone to her immediately. She loves me and she wants to help me when things aren't going right and I guarantee there are people around you who feel the same way about you too.

3. Volunteers
If you're completely and utterly convinced you'd be a burden and nothing can change your mind, there are people out there who give up their time to help others. They are literally asking for you to ask them for help. You couldn't possibly be a burden to someone who's actually waiting for your call now, could you? 

4. Use Social Media!
Maybe verbalising how you feel just isn't the way to go for you! In that case, text! Tweet! DM! Doesn't matter! There are so many ways to communicate these days. Use them to your advantage. Send someone a gif of Sadness from Inside Out. Send them a video of the song 'All By Myself'. It doesn't matter as long as you're telling someone how you feel and if that's via a gif, a song or a video so be it! So many charities and organisations have websites with live chats now too! There are some helpful links at the bottom of this page if you want to have a browse!


5. Never Fool Yourself Into Thinking You're Alone
You're not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You aren't alone. Alone, you are not. You just...aren't. People have felt like you feel right now before, made it through and they are willing to share their stories and experiences with you. There are loved ones around you, family and friends. There are strangers who want to lend a hand. There is kindness everywhere and sometimes it feels like it's being hidden from you like a cruel trick but never convince yourself that it doesn't exist because it does. It's there and it's coming for you and it may take a while to find you but it will. You gotta keep your hands open so someone can come along and hold them. You gotta keep your eyes open otherwise you'll never see that kindness. Always be open to something wonderful happening. As soon as you close yourself off, it never will.

You are worthy of love and support and there's an abundance of it at your fingertips. You just need to ask.

#BlurtSelfCareathon

xxx
























5 comments

  1. I don't know why I got abit emotional while reading this but it's so true, there is people who want to help you if your struggling, sometimes I have to be reminded especially from my mum but I always say I don't need her help but I do speak to my sister sometimes if I need to even if it's just a hello how are you conversation.... anyway this was a great blog, can't wait to read the next one xx

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  2. I feel I have kind of needed this just now...I have recently started feeling anxious to the point i have cried for the past 3 days or so...I have felt anxious for the last few years only for exams however just now I feel it's more than exams...I have spoke to family, friends and my boyfriend and I hate the thought of the doctors as I feel I am giving in if I go onto medication but right now I think I could need it. Thank you for this Carrie xx

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  3. Thank you for putting what I've been feeling for so long into words, recently my depression has gotten worse due to the people I turn to having lots of their own problems and not letting me help them which has made me feel insignificant. This has given me the courage to talk to them again xxxx

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  4. Hi Carrie.
    I love this blog. Speaking of support from strangers... At some point I had wanted to quit theater and your content helped inspire me not to, in fact I have a very cool theater project going up soon and I just wanted to let you know that you had a small part in making that happen by keeping me motivated with your content. Thanks for supporting me without even realizing it (and a lot of other people) and reminding me why I love what I do.
    <3 xoxo

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  5. Thank you Carrie. I'm standing on a full subway with tears running down my cheeks. This was much needed' I think for many people. I'm in a different country without anyone I know and it's so easy to feel like I'm all alone here. So thank you. I think I'll be quoting you every day now when you say "You gotta keep your hands open so someone can come along and hold them. You gotta keep your eyes open otherwise you'll never see that kindness."

    Thank you for the hope you inspire

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