An Introverted Actress

Life Indoors

Hello all! It's been a while. <3 

In the attempt to find the positives in amongst this very scary, worldwide, panic-inducing pandemic, this time of self-isolation has made me realise just how much I needed to hit pause on my life. I think part of the reason I'm so annoyingly calm in amidst all this is that personally, this self-isolation is doing me the world of good. Obviously if it continues for another six months I'll be clawing at the walls but right now, I'm in a good place. I know most of this is down to privilege. I'm in a lovely home, I'm isolated with a loved one so I'm not completely alone and there are parts of my job I can   do from home. I understand that I'm far luckier than some which is why I have the luxury of "enjoying" lockdown to an extent. 



The first few days, however, I did feel like a spider trapped inside a pint glass. I felt twitchy and every morning I had to remind myself of the situation shortly after waking up. I felt a sense of loss, almost. Then, one day, I needed to get out of the house so I went for a run through the woods nearby. About five minutes in, I couldn't understand why this run felt so unbelievably different than my usual attempts. I was running at what felt like super speed. I was like the Cullens in the Twilight movies where their legs are moving at normal pace but hundreds of trees are swooshing past each second. Also, nothing was hurting. My feet and my ankles are useless and usually begin to scream in pain near the start of a run. There's cramping and straining, regardless of how hydrated I am and how much I've warmed up. This time, there was nothing. I felt strong and happy to continue running for forever it seemed. That's when I realised, this is what it felt like to be well rested. I haven't felt like that since before I started doing eight shows a week seven years ago. I suddenly realised that my body had been aching when I ran not because "I wasn't made for running". It was aching because it was tired and probably a little broken and I was making it work even harder on fumes. Now I a, feeling the benefits of what my body can do on a tank full of gas. It's not that I'm now Sonic the Hedgehog. I won't be giving Mo Farah a run for his money but the difference in how I felt was genuinely a bit of a shock. It's ironic though that Covid-19 has given me time to rest my body in order to be better at running and yet because of Covid-19...the marathon  I was meant to be running didn't happen!

I've also found that I'm checking social media...less? Wtf? How is that even possible? I guess it's because if there's less going on in my life, I have less reason to post and so don't find myself falling down the rabbit hole of scrolling as often. I'm currently still working on Into The Spotlight, my first children's novel and I've never had the time to solely focus on being an author. I'm enjoying it tremendously which has also kept me away from my phone. Having three very different jobs (theatre, writing and social media) with three very different schedules that very rarely sync up, I'm usually pulled in three different directions and stretched to my limits. Having some time to be in control of my working hours I'm surprised at how well I'm doing. I get up around 9:30AM, I film a video with my boyfriend for his channel (we're doing morning and evening videos on our channels, click here to check them out!), we edit our videos, have breakfast and then get showered and ready for the day. Then I begin work/meetings and I'm usually at my desk until about 4-5PM. Then at 5PM we film my video for the following day, I'll do some admin, film some Cameo videos and tie up any loose ends. We'll cook dinner together and then I spend the evening however I want. Video games, reading, puzzles, watching The Walking Dead or Disney+. 

It's...something. Structure in amongst the chaos. Staying indoors, giving to and fundraising for charity, keeping busy and spreading information and positivity is the best we can do in these trying times. Finding happiness where you can, even if it's just in doing your make-up or making a cup of tea, is crucial. Making the best of this weird and slightly scary situation feels important to me and if creating my own little routine makes my brain happy, that's what I need to do. I hope you've all found something to give you the same kind of calmness! <3











10 comments

  1. Ah you are so amazing !!

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  2. This is absolutely wonderful. <3 You are an extremely positive bubble in amongst the negativity! Thank you for your wonderfulness. <3

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  3. Your Good Morning / Evening videos are getting me through lockdown, when I look back on this crazy time, that’s what I’ll remember for giving me consistency and routine - THANK YOU xxxx

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  4. I feel exactly the same about quarantine. I've found myself having so much more energy plus I have more time for things that I enjoy doing but usually wouldn't be able to do! I'm living my best life.

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  5. I find that the morning and evening videos that you guys post, give me structure to my day. Because I wake up and watch the morning one with my breakfast and then before I go to bed I watch the evening one. It’s so helpful in giving me a routine which is what I miss most at the moment- believe it or not I want to be back at school so badly

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  6. Carrie your so amazing! I love you so much <3

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  7. Thank you for being such a ray of sunshine in these uncertain times! You inspire me on the daily <3

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  8. I love you so much and have inspired to take up running as well as to love myself

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