Bouncy Walking

I am not built to run. At least, my ankles and feet aren't. During a trip to the resident physio at Les Miserables after quite a hefty fall on stage, I was asked if I ran as a form of exercise. When I asked if "running for the bus" counted, he advised me not to take up running and instead, find a different form of exercise or use a cross trainer at least. He said my weak ankles, forming bunions and very flat feet wouldn't enjoy the impact and pressure from constantly hitting the ground. I happily followed his advice until...

...My sister-in-law, Giovanna Fletcher says she was persuaded by Bryony Gordon to join her in running the Vitality 10K on May 27th and so my story is that I was, in turn, persuaded by Giovanna. On a drive back from one of our three reformer pilates sessions a week that we began together in January, Gi told me about the 10K and invited me along. 

"Sure! Why not!" I said, genuinely enthused. How hard can 10K be?, I thought but the more I thought, I remembered that once upon a time, I had had a personal trainer. I was about 16 and it was to get me in shape for a theatre project and I remember enjoying everything he threw at me EXCEPT the running. He took me running in the park opposite my house and I felt like my lungs were going to collapse and/or explode and that my toes were going to fall off, one by one. I couldn't hold any kind of a conversation because I was too busy gasping  and gulping for air and I couldn't run for more than maybe a minute before flailing my hands at him to stop. I was pretty useless. But that was a decade ago! You'll be better at it now!, I thought and I actually believed that until...

...I was stood bent double half way down my road, heavy breathing but still managing somehow to mutter expletives. How was I going to run 10K when I couldn't even keep it together for a couple of minutes? Instead of turning back,  I got stubborn. I opened up the Couch To 5K app that I had already downloaded but was sure I wouldn't need because how hard could it be? I'm older now! Running will be easy! You can do this! I love how much faith I had in myself but I do worry that I set myself up for a much bigger fall. I'm glad, however, that I didn't throw in the towel because with Sarah Millican's sing-song tones guiding me through intermittently walking and running for twelve minutes, I started to feel like maybe all was not lost. I still felt like I was going to collapse but, in small doses, I could run. The idea of a 10K still seemed a long way out of reach, though, until...

...I decided to start training on holiday with much encouragement from Gi. In 27 degree heat, I went for it. I decided ten minutes was the initial goal although considering my first run felt incredibly short lived and disastrous, I wasn't hopeful. I realised my initial mistake was thinking that I was going to be able to run at a speedy pace straight away. That kind of enthusiasm had me tuckered out almost immediately so this time, I decided, let's just take it at a steady and slow pace and build up from there. Rome wasn't built in a day, and all that! Snails were overtaking me  in that Floridian heat. I'd even say it was more of a bouncy walk than a run but d'ya know what? I ran for ten minutes without stopping and I. Couldn't. F***ing. Believe. It. I cried. I reached my goal, looked at my phone  with all the stats, plain as day, and I actually cried. It may have been sweat pouring down my face come to think of it but I'm pretty sure it was emotion. There was hope for me yet! I went for three runs in Florida, each one longer and a little faster than the last and I got a taste of the addiction to running that I've heard so many people talk about. It's not the feeling of your feet pounding the floor or the ache in your chest or your screaming muscles. In fact I'm pretty sure they're the things people run in spite of. It's, in fact, the triumph you feel when your app tells you that you've run your fastest kilometre. It's the little puff of pride in your chest when you run for a little bit longer than you ever have before. It's being in competition with yourself and winning.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Giovanna Fletcher (@mrsgifletcher) on Apr 26, 2019 at 5:16am PDT

I am not a runner. I don't think I ever will be unless this really takes a turn I don't expect! My goal isn't to be a top athlete or to one day run a marathon. It isn't even my goal to lose weight or get fit. They would merely be bonuses. My goal is to prove to myself that I can be anything I want to be if I'm willing to put the work in. I've spent years telling myself and other people "I Can't Run" and I let that physio's advice become my excuse. But had I said "Yes!" when he asked me "Do you run?" I'm certain he would have given me different advice. He would have helped facilitate my running and helped prevent any injury. He wasn't saying I couldn't/shouldn't ever run but that it would be difficult and probably painful for my feet and ankles (which may as well be made out of mashed potato...) should I decide to take it up. Well, Mr Physio, I've decided I do want to take it up! I want to constantly challenge myself. I want to watch myself jump over hurdles that I never thought I was capable of overcoming. I want to leave my comfort zone and feel scared and uneasy, only to find that I had no reason to feel scared and uneasy in the first place. I want to triumph in ways no one ever expected me to, but most of all I want to surprise myself with what my body is capable of. Which I've already done in so many ways in such a short space of time but this is only the beginning. 

I will compile a little list of discoveries I've made about running and a few little tips for first time runners like myself in the near future, just in case anyone feels inspired! But for now, I just want to say...and I can't believe I'm actually about to type this but...

I Love Running.