An Introverted Actress

Motivated By Negativity




Let me be honest for a second...

I feel the most fired up and inspired to write when I'm fuelled by negativity. Isn't that awful? It's something I truly hate to admit and I feel like I've been duped by drama channels and shock factor news outlets! But the truth is, the times when I feel most inclined to take to my keyboard is when something or someone has pissed in my cornflakes. Now, whether I actually post what I want to say is a different matter. I'm a 'save it to my drafts and sleep on it' kind of lady so the amount of rage fuelled posts I write compared to how many I actually publish is hugely outweighed. I highly recommend doing this for anyone that often feels the same because I've learnt (far too late...) that sometimes posting anything at all, no matter how right you are and how justified you feel, makes these losers feel like they've won so sometimes it's best not to say anything at all. However, this doesn't change the fact that I feel at my most inspired when I'm majorly pissy and I'm not okay with that. 

One of the saddest reasons I feel this is the case is because, if social media has taught us anything, people usually only pay attention to the negative. What gets the most views on YouTube right now? Is it happy and magical Disney vloggers and videos of families documenting their kids growing up? Or is it drama channels and idiot YouTubers who think it's funny to travel to other countries and throw dead fish at the locals? Outrage, controversy and shock is what gets the most attention and I feel like I've subconsciously taken that on board because when it comes to sitting down and writing a blog, I look at my list of lovely, positive, inspirational ideas and don't feel even half the amount of motivation to write them as I do when some knob-head online has got me riled up! I feel like people would pay far less attention to the good than if I posted the bad. Is that the world we live in? Or am I being majorly cynical? 

I don't want to live in a world without negativity. S*** happens. There's nothing to be done about that but I certainly want to live in a world where we don't embrace the negativity as much as we currently do. It's got to a point where if people can't find the holes in something good, they'll take out a needle and make them. We can no longer just take anything on surface level. Everything has to be picked apart until it's completely unrecognisable, mashed and twisted on the table. Just so we can pick up one tiny little  rusted bolt in amongst all of the polished, shining cogs, hold it under the microscope and say "There's the issue! So the whole thing is ruined!". I think it's amazing that we've been trained to look deeper and ask questions because often it pays off. However, I'm starting to worry that it's ruining all the good we're also faced with because we overthink and overanalyse until we can no longer just enjoy


So I'm making a small yet significant (significant to me, anyway!) stand and I'm not going to give into my urges to moan anymore. I don't enjoy it and I fear the only people that benefit are those who have wound me up because I've risen to their carefully placed bait. Over the years, I feel that I've said everything I possibly have to say about how giving criticism isn't mutually exclusive with being a total penis. I've shouted into the void about the various ways I feel it's appropriate to speak to strangers online. I've talked it all to death. It would be a massive waste of everyone's time if I keep repeating and explaining myself. It's not even like anything I've ever said is revolutionary! It's just the plain and simple principal of "Don't Be A Dick" spelled out every which way I can possibly think of and it's BORING. You're bored. I'm bored. So I'm just not going to entertain it anymore. Positive vibes all round. 



14 comments

  1. Was it Stephen Hawkings who said 'Life would be tragic if it weren't funny'... This is definitely one of my favourite sentiments, so when people are getting wound up over something trivial I just remember to see the funny side and av a good ol lafff eh :)

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  2. You're certainly not the only one to find it easier to write about the negative, I think that's very common. But the strategy of writing it in order to get it out, but then not posting it, is a very good one. You get to put the words on paper and rage a little (or a lot), but you don't put that negativity out into the world because as you say, it mostly just serves to make the idiots feel seen.

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  3. I find writing about negativity corrupts me spiritually. Not that I 'never' do it. But I try to take any negative inspired energy and spin it into something positive. Acknowledging it is part of the process. I have noticed different trends on the types of posts written. Negativity may often pull in readers and some communication , but positivity pulls in support and communication on a much greater scale.

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  4. Carrie, I couldn’t have said it better myself. You really put what I felt into words. Xoxo, Jackie

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  5. Carrie I think it doesn't matter what your fueled by. I think it's just great that your fueled!

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  6. I think it's completely natural to be fueled by negativity. However, as you have said, no one needs it. The positive and happy little corner of the internet that you create is wonderful, and a great escape from all of the gross negativity that exists online and on social media. X

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  7. Completely normal❤ some of the best artists have done their best work in these 'down periods'as that is the time you tend to feel the most emotion! And there is no good art without feeling. I myself find that heartbreak leads to me writing much better poetry. I noticed the other day i haven't written anything in 3 years! The problem I think is if you being to rely (like me) on the negative to be productive.

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  8. Writing is the best outlet! Will there be a way to get notifications for you blog? I loved this and don't want to miss one!

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    Replies
    1. You can subscribe to her mailing list. :)

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    2. I must have missed it. I've been reading on my phone. Where will I find it?

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  9. I think your new resolution on trying to stay positive online is a great thing; swimming against the stream of negativity. <3 And have really been enjoying your blogs! Hugs and have a lovely week! :)

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  10. I find that quite interesting, because I'm most inspired to write when I'm sad, or rather when I write about something that is a bit trickier or heavier than normal. I find it harder to write blog posts about more trivial stuff. So, in a way, I understand where you're coming from. Whether it's anger or frustration or sorrow, I think it's more weight on your shoulders that you just need to let go of. When you're positive and there's positivity around you, you just want to keep it all in - share it, but keep it all in. But that's not true of negativity. Does that make any sense?
    When it comes to responding to hate, I feel you. No matter how much we try to spread kindness, I feel like some people will never accept it and will go out of their way to hurt you anyway. So, you protect yourself as best you can.
    Take care x

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  11. Whenever i have the urge to write it's usually because something bad as happened in my life. I only write poetry of sadness and broken hearts which is something i'm trying to change. The change might take awhile to get the positive out instead of the negative but it's something i'll happily work on!
    <3

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