An Introverted Actress

Day Twenty: Letter

As you may have seen in a previous blog, I posted a picture of an excerpt from a letter a past boyfriend had sent me. When I was sixteen through to age of nineteen, I had a boyfriend who was at school in London but was from Hong Kong. Each summer holiday he would return home but instead of solely skype-ing or tweeting, I insisted we also kept in touch via handwritten letters. I though it was old school, romantic and ever so suspenseful, hoping each morning that the postman would hold in his bag a letter from my loved one. Now that I'm twenty-five, almost a decade on from the start of that relationship, they're a wonderful keepsake from my younger years. However, I do look back and envy the naivety and purity of it all. Words like forever, eternity and always jump out and whilst they don't weigh heavy on my heart like I thought they would, instead, I enjoy that there was once a time when I threw those words around with youthful recklessness. There was a time  when it meant nothing to promise someone my lifetime. A time when I had a million forevers. 


Although there's a fragility about me now regarding romance, I enjoy that I'm a little more cagey about who I give my forevers to. In the past, distant and recent, I've used those long term words and instantly felt their wrongness on my tongue but thought I was already in too deep to admit it. Now in my present, even when I feel that certainty coursing though me, I'm still reluctant to use a forever, just in case it turns out I'm wrong, as I have been every time so far. Now that I realise I only have the one forever, it's harder to part with. 

I guess the secret is being content with giving myself the promise of forever and it'll be a bonus if someone joins me on the journey.

#BlurtSelfCareathon

xxx





2 comments

  1. I miss the days of nice snail mail, the joy from finding a hand written letter, postcard or card in amongst bills is unparallel to anything else. The knowledge that someone has handwritten something, make it more personal.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think the greatest part about finding your person is that when you say "forever" with them, you'll know it's true. It won't feel awkward or foreign in the back of your brain.

    ReplyDelete

Professional Blog Designs by pipdig